Rebel Race NY: Why I Will Never Take Up Mud Wrestling

Rebel Race, NY: June 12, 2011

Modena, NY

 Pre-Race

Although I was doing the race with my brother, he was supposed to meet me at the course. Because my native PKNY friends thought Modena was 40 minutes away from my house, when it was in fact 20 minutes away. At 9:05, I got to this race very early. So early, in fact, that the parking field had three cars in it and nobody from the race directing anyone (or, luckily for me, charging $10 for parking). However, I was confused because the website said to arrive an hour before the wave started. The website had also said that there were “sold out” waves at 10:00 and 10:30. The 10:00 people should have been at the site already. Confused, but unworried, I took a half hour nap in my car. At  9:35, there were still very few cars in the parking lot. Like me, the handful of people that were there didn’t seem to know where to go. I wandered down to the entrance of the parking field and tried to figure out where to go. I was stopped by a security guard, who told me I was going the wrong way and that I needed to be chaperoned to the registration because I was alone.

And that’s how I showed up to the race course on the back of an ATV. The security guard pointed me towards check-in. I tried to check-in, but at 9:50, they still weren’t ready. This really confused me, because there should have been waves before ours, at 11:00. I started wandering around the festival area to try to figure out where the start and finish were. I met some people who were also wondering where the earlier waves were. Their theory was that the event organizers had written that the 10:00 and 10:30 waves were sold out in order to make it seem like the race was in high demand. It made sense, but it also made me a little mad. We had picked our wave time based on the fact that we wanted to see other people race before we did. Not getting to wasn’t a huge deal, but it seemed wrong to falsely advertise the event.

People lined up at the registration tent

At 10:05, check in was finally open and my parents and brother had arrived. We checked in and wandered around the area to try to scout the course. Most of the course was not visible from the main area and we had no idea where the start was until 10 minutes before the race. There was also no course map, which would have made sense to have posted somewhere since it was a confusing course. So confusing, in fact, that all of the volunteers I talked to didn’t know what was going on either. I still have no idea where I ran.

The "Before" (i.e. clean) Picture

We lined up at the start at 10:50 and waited. It didn’t seem like there were that many people in our heat, but everyone seemed into it. This was definitely the best part of the day. Even though it was cloudy and muggy, everyone at the venue, whether they were racing, watching or volunteering, seemed to be in a good mood. The mood at the start was one of camaraderie rather than cutthroat competition, which was definitely a nice change from the last eight years of my racing life. People were dressed in everything from regular running gear to flannel onesie pajamas to a Goodwill inspired wolf-print tank/Hawaiian shorts combo. There was even a guy dressed in full Superman gear, complete with a cape and ­­– what every good superhero needs—a pre-race beer and cigarette.

 The Race

The gun went off, fireworks went off and we were off. Because this race had so many different components, I’m going to put my thoughts about the different obstacles in bullet form. Overall, I thought that the obstacles could have been planned a little bit better. There were too many bunched together in the beginning, in the middle and the end. There were points during the race that I felt like I was running forever without encountering an obstacle. That could, however, have been due to fact that I was not used to running while covered in approximately ten pounds of mud. But here is my rundown of the obstacles along with a grade for each:

Obstacles I Liked

Fast Twitch Tires: what’s an obstacle course without tires? A-

Creepy Creek: Walking through water was very doable. I think some people ran, but I would rather not risk my delicate ankles. B+

Rebellious roping (dragging myself through a pond by a rope): This was super easy and probably the only obstacle that I actually passed people on. A+

Cross the Ditch Bitch: I can handle a giant hole of water. It’s like being at the trailer site at the Knecht Cup every year, the bonus here was that I didn’t have to carry a boat through it. A-

Hay Dude and Hay Dude, Jr.: Climbing over hay is really easy and it dried off some of the mud. Win-win. A

Lunatic Lagoon: Walking through water is also really easy, even though the guy in front of me managed to find the only place in the pond where the water was more than waist deep and  had to be saved by another racer. F for him, but A- for the obstacle.

Ninja Turtle Sewer: Clambering through giant pipes for 10 yards was very doable. And who doesn’t love the Ninja Turtles? A+ for ease and giving me a costume idea for next year.

Obstacles I Didn’t Like

Hell at Himalayas, Backwoods Brook and Welcome to the Jungle: These were all pretty much the same thing: lots of mud. Hell at Himalayas was a mountain of mud, Backwoods Brook was a river of mud and Welcome to the Jungle was a forest of mud. These would have been way more fun if I was not worried about ending my competitive athletic career with a broken ankle. Maybe I’m just a wuss, but these obstacles seemed more unsafe than I liked. But then again, I also have really delicate ankles. C+

Flaming Fury: I don’t like fire, so this is a personal bias. Even though it looks like I jump over it in the video, I actually jumped to the side. Hooray for camera angles. C

Prison Break: Rebel racers had to climb two poorly constructed walls – which had very few handholds – with muddy sneakers. I thought this was really dangerous. In order to get up the wall, most people had to get a running start. I have pretty good upper body strength and I still thought this was hard. I don’t know how some of the less-fit racers managed it. F

Does a campfire mean we get s'mores?!

Obstacles that were (in my mind) Pointless

Sergeant’s Sprint: Within the first 500 yards, we were supposed to “sprint as fast as we could”. However, there was no direction from anyone to do so, so we all saved our legs. I don’t think a single person sprinted. D-

Drop and give me 10 (10 pushups, 10 leg lifts, 10 sit-ups): This one was bad because obviously everyone who doesn’t have a strict moral compass, like me, cheats. Apparently one person didn’t know what leg lifts were, so she skipped them. The race inventors should remember that humanity stinks. I give her an F, but I give this obstacle a D-

Slimy Slope Slide: This consisted of a tarp on the ground. No water, no mud, just a tarp. Booooring. D+

And as for the rest of them (Military Mud pit, crawling under barbed wire over a pit of water; Cargo Crawl, crawling under a cargo net; and Cargo Climb) they were fine. B’s all around.

Post Race

The "After" Picture

I don't think I'll ever want to be a mud wrestler

I was covered in mud. Obviously. Everyone was. I think I finished in 45 minutes but I didn’t really look at the clock, assuming that they would post results online (they did not). We grabbed the coconut water that was being handed out at the end of the race and took our “After” picture. We then headed to the hosing station to try to make ourselves presentable for lunch. 

That water was NOT warm

It was time for the best part of the race: the “free” beer. I lied when I said the other racers were the best part of the day. It was actually my beer. I had never thought of drinking right after a race because usually I’m so dehydrated I just want a Gatorade, but this definitely hit the spot. 

Never have I been so happy after a race

Cheese curds at The Gilded Otter

The wash before the wash...had to clean my tub after this

In case you didn't get a good enough idea how dirty I got, here's my race number, post-race

Overall Impression of the Race

I had a good time at this race, but I definitely have some suggestions for next year:

-put a course map at the start

-inform volunteers better

-put results online

-get rid of the pointless obstacles

-organize the flow of the start/festival/finish area better

-spread the obstacles out more

-don’t market a sold out wave if there isn’t one

But overall, it was definitely a hard race to pull off so I give whoever ran it credit for that. The idea of an intense race with great entertainment at the end is a good one. I had a good time, I just have high race day standards. It could have been better but I don’t regret going. I think if the Rebel Race people put as much time into running the event as they did marketing it, it could be great. 

Acknowledgments
Thanks to John Clancy, Marist weight coach, for telling me about this race and putting me through workouts that made me tough enough to survive; my parents, for coming, supporting us and taking all the great video footage you see here; and to my brother, who cheered for me through the end of the course and for being brave enough to attend the US Naval Academy next year, because without people like him, people like me would have to defend our country. Then we'd all be screwed.